I Do Not Give Three ‘F’s…

by

…any unnecessary attention as these are things that are inevitable, they are bound to happen, and one only needs to get used to it, embrace or learn from it… and just get on with life

Hey Fam! It’s been such a long while since I have posted anything. I apologize for the inactivity on the blog but your girl has been so busy with meeting some important deadlines at work, travelling for work and I recently fell ill but the key is to just keep moving forward. The time away actually served a purpose though; as during that time I was able to do some reflection and reaffirmed some thoughts that I would like to share with you.

The three ‘F’s that I am speaking of are the Feelings/opinions of others, Flaws and Failures. These things are usually viewed as stumbling blocks in one’s life and they do not have to be. What I have found is that the quicker you get used to these things in life, the more insignificant it becomes over time and the quicker you are able to keep pushing forward.

So how does one really get on with his/her life without letting these three ‘F’s impact your life negatively? You will need to get to the root of the problem. For me I found it was the mother of all ‘F’s, the biggest middle finger of all…Fear. Fear is usually associated with unfamiliar territory or if the outcome may lead to embarrassment. But I think that everyone, at least once in life, can attest to the fact that you actually survive embarrassment or learning an epic lesson from venturing into the unknown. So therefore we have nothing to fear and can actually conquer any difficulties when dealing with these three ‘F’s. So let’s look at each one in turn shall we.

Everyone has an opinion or feeling about something or someone: you, me, she, he, they, we (it’s official you can call me the rhyme master). Seriously though, sometimes it can be so unnecessary. But let’s be clear I am not here to bash opinions; in fact feelings/opinions are very important.  For example, if you applied to a job opening and successfully got the position, it was an opinion that finally got you there. While your qualifications might have gotten you an interview it would have been the employer’s positive opinion of your people skills and your personality that sealed the deal.

Why do we care so much about the feelings and opinions of others? Because, humans are driven by emotions. It’s just the way humans are engineered. It is because we want to feel loved and accepted and the fear of being alone, being rejected or not measuring up to an expectation, drives us to pay attention to more opinions than we need to. This can be harmful especially when they are unkind or unsolicited opinions especially from persons who shouldn’t really matter. What actually matters is our response to these opinions and which ones we allow to penetrate our consciousness.

Think of it as searching through Google, it returns thousands of results for that one search item but you filter out the ones that are not relevant to what you need and keep the ones that are. If you looked and analyzed every single one, think about how exhausting and unproductive that would be. It is the same way we should approach dealing with the feelings/opinions from others, choose what matters to you as internalizing everything is just too much baggage to carry around. What matters most is the feeling or opinion we have for ourselves and if other person’s feelings/opinions measure up to who we are and what we want for ourselves.

One thing that we may always get unsolicited opinions on are or so called ‘Flaws’. Which brings me to my 2nd ‘F’ out of the three 

Firstly let us do away with that word and refer to it as uniqueness or differences. There is nothing wrong with being born unique and different or going against the grain with your thoughts and ideas as long as it does not intentionally harm others; but unfortunately in our mean-spirited society we are taught or sometimes forced to conceal uniqueness and that shouldn’t be. Society wants us to meet a standard of a certain kind of person with a certain kind of beauty and use that as the benchmark. But what we need to realize is that we are unique and what is unique is the standard as it is can only be measured against itself. So who gives three ‘F’s about what society’s standard is. Embrace your uniqueness or differences and decide how you want to deal with it.

Just by acknowledging what is truly unique about yourself and being thankful for it and then linking it to something positive each day is a great way to learn the lesson, the purpose or the beauty of your unique characteristic and get on with the rest of your life. Work at yourself and always try to be the version of yourself you can be proud to tell a story about. Don’t worry about popular opinion or society, because of your confidence, they will come around whether you/they like it or not; but don’t let it get to your head as what remains important is what you think about yourself.

Fam, if you are in a situation where your uniqueness comes with stares or gawks or it may be expensive as everything has to be tailor made to your needs; I just want to encourage you and remind you that even though each day may be a struggle there is something positive in the midst and I hope you are able to see it. Keep strong and trust that your journey is one filled with great lessons, has a greater purpose and attests to your worth as being a true rarity. Never view your individuality as a failure, the 3rd out of the three ‘F’s, but as the truest form of itself…a success

 Embrace failure it is bound to happen. In fact each time you make a calculated attempt and fall short it brings you a step closer to success and gives you great insight into what will or will not work in the future. So when our teachers used to say be wrong and strong, they really had a point as each time we make a bold attempt at achieving our goals, it puts us one step closer. So instead of letting fear keep us back from ever attempting to achieve our goals and dreams or tacking a problem, dive in head first and get the awkward stages out of the way and quickly too. As long as your attempts have direction you will reach your goal someday or be at least be one step closer than yesterday.

I just want to encourage those of us who feel like giving up because you have not achieved your version of success after many attempts. I know it can be discouraging seeing others achieve what you want using similar methodologies and what may seem like less effort and you think they are so lucky. First things first, keep your blinders on and stop watching people, focus on your own race. Secondly, I don’t believe in luck but I believe that with each attempt opportunities for success or what you may think of as luck will increase so keep working at it. The universe will line up what you need if you are passionately out there working for it.  

While it would be great achieving success like Mark Zuckerburg, is it really that bad being like Steve Jobs, Vera Wang or Samuel L. Jackson who achieved success later on in life. Just try and remain healthy so that when you get there you have enough strength and stamina to enjoy that new area of your life.

 

I really hope that this post  proved helpful to someone as it was really some reflection that helped me to recenter and put things into focus.  I am so grateful that you stopped by and gave me your attention. Please comment down below which of these three ‘F’s you are conquering; or if you have already conquered them all, leave us some tips down below. My final thought is to love yourself enough to conquer anything in life that is holding you back from being a better person or achieving your goals. Kindly, click the heart down below and leave me some positivity. Also, share this post with everyone, especially someone who may need it and keep the conversation going. Thanks again for stopping by, until next time Fam, walk good.

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