How to Love


What is love? It is a choice. Whether you choose to love God, others or yourself, it is a choice you have to consciously make. Once a decision is made out of love it will lead one to make the right choices over and over and this will lead to a more harmonious environment both internally and externally. As the topic of Love is such a wide topic, I will create a series called Love Matters. What do you think? The first in this series is ‘How to Love’.

No, I am not referencing the Lil’ Wayne song, although he makes a point.




To express love, you must know how to love so that you can love. We can alter the lyrics a little, change ‘crooks’ to ‘persons’ and ‘steal’ to ‘win’ then it becomes a sad but true statement; persons may probably go through their entire lives trying to win hearts for moments or for  lifetimes and never figure out ‘how to love’.  Here’s a fun fact: the person, animal, place or thing (prep school game-some of you may get it) should not change your decision to love. Every decision you make should be made out of love.  It is totally in your control.

So how do we do it?  There’s no one size fits all answer but a foundation can be laid. Take math, we learned to add, multiply, take away and divide -these fundamentals can be applied to the same problem but in different ways. Let us look at the relationship between 28 and 4 for example; we could add 4 seven times, we could multiply 4 by 7, yet again we can divide 28 by 4 or take away 4 from 28 and realize it can only be done 7 times.

Therefore we can see that the relationship between 28 and 4 is 7 but achieved in different ways. The 28 and the 4 represent the persons involved and 7 represents love that exists between the two persons. Sometimes you have to multiply your efforts to show love, add a lil’ something extra or take away yourself from a situation so that love is maintained or divide your efforts because sometimes we can just do too much.

So to know which action to take to achieve love we first have to know, ‘what is love?’ One of the greatest examples that I can think of and that I try to implement in my daily life is as indicated by Jesus, who says we should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Love others as you love yourself. Have some empathy people! You may be asking: What if persons are perverted in their way of thinking, cynical even? Fear not! The Bible also tells us in many passages the choices involved in what it is and what it is not, for e.g. in 1st Corinthians– It is patient, kind, it is not boastful, etc.

So let’s try something from this day forward, for every situation that may arise, go through the checklist of what love is, remember that the other factors involved do not change the fact that the decision you make should be made out of love and then decide which action you are going to take after your assessment. Leave a comment down below and tell me how you were able to act out of love today. I need inspiration too!

8 Responses
  • Gary
    April 7, 2016

    I think the when two persons comes together and has a mutual feeling of love and respect and both are sync with each others needs and wants; you are able to overcome all temptation and obstacles and both are truly Life Partners, are some would say Soul Mates.

    I think the road to love is one of adventure, with up’s and down’s. You as person have to make the decision to drown out all the negative that may come your way and follow your heart for the life you live is no ones else but you own! and you should live your dream making choices for yourself, I know that sound kinda selfish but the ones who truly care will still be there by your side, helping to spreading love and happiness on your journy through life.

    As it says in Genesis 1:27( So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.) and 1 John 4:16 (And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.). Hence if God is love and we are made in the image of God, then we are “Love”.

    • Mishannie
      April 9, 2016

      Thanks for this!! This is so true. I will be doing a post on romantic love soon, so keep tuned.

  • Leighton
    April 28, 2016


  • Danie S
    May 11, 2016

    Love it, Mishi. Often times we r quick to react or respond without assessing, then regrets come in to play. Working on taking my time before acting and relying on the adjectives God lay out for us is an excellent tool. Love and thanks and keep the posts coming! Beautiful

  • Lace
    May 23, 2016

    Wow, I have to agree I am a firm believer in Corinthians 13 and applying it to life in general, it is never easy to remember it in the heat of the moment but as we practice it gets better and far easier because it becomes habit. I must say I enjoyed the play on the mathematical analogy because you are in fact correct we must love in different ways in order to reach someone especially those who are not even open to receiving love. So I look forward to the next article and the continual dialogue. Mish matters rocks!

    • Mishannie
      May 24, 2016

      Thank you for your kind words. I so agree with you, it takes great patience and practice. Just don’t be hard on yourself as long as you make the effort, with each try you will become more successful. I look forward to the dialogue as well.

  • Richard
    July 22, 2017

    Excellently written, Mishannie!! I know I am pretty late to the discussion, but I love that you defined love within the CHRIST-ian context of self sacrifice, merciful compassion and service to others. Because this is the context which provides the most fertile ground on which a young and ‘reckless’ attraction can bloom and grow into an eternal love, which transcends all space and time…

    Actually, I have found that this is the context in which everything good in life blossoms… including love. Just saying…

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